Maybe it was like this. The day was perfect. Work went well. No one nagged you. The weather even cooperated. But then, out of nowhere turmoil made its way onto the scene. It was totally uninvited and completely unexpected.
Your first response is surprise. Second comes confusion. Next is bewilderment. And sometimes the most exciting part comes; an argument. A bad one started by another person (yes, we all can do the strangest things). And you are thinking, "what happened? All was well. Did I miss something somewhere?"
As Christians we unfortunately have to live this life in that constant battle between the flesh and the Spirit. It is certainly not easy. Paul reminded us of how difficult it was even for him. He said ...
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:18-25 - (for context read all of Romans 7).Paul was acknowledging that there is indeed a great difficulty in consistently living the Christian life. He noted that on the one hand he wanted to serve the Lord but on the other he found himself constantly giving in to selfishness and even sin.
We may not readily admit it. But we know what that is like. We can relate to Paul.
So when your day goes UGH-BOOM-WAM ... what should you do? Let me offer a few suggestions that have helped me.
Spend Some Quiet Time with the Lord
Unfortunately Christians (yes even you) get angry and upset and can find themselves seriously at odds with someone they love. If no reconciliation was found when the argument occurred then it is best to find a special place to be alone with the Lord. The Psalms of David remind us that David indeed practiced seeking the Lord during times of crisis and turmoil. In Psalm 63 he cried ...
1 You, God, are my God,This time of prayer and praise would remind David of God's goodness that can and will be seen in every circumstance of life. In a time of disarray perhaps we should follow the example of David. We, too, will be reminded of just Who God is.
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Seriously Consider Your Possible Contribution
After the time of praise, be honest with yourself. Get out of "defense" mode and move into "Search me O God and know me" mode. Look honestly within and ask if you are in any way (partially or fully) responsible for the division with a brother or sister in Christ. This honest approach will free you in Spirit and enable you to do what you must do.
If you find you are responsible to some degree. Own it. Embrace it. Acknowledge it. Then plan to confess it to the person you are at odds with when the time is right. As Romans 12: 18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
Pray for God's Guidance
This one is obvious. Let God lead you. Pray it through and search the Scriptures for God's guidance. Trust the Holy Spirit to show you exactly how to proceed even after you have acknowledged any responsibility you may have in the situation. Know and understand deeply that God does not want you at odds with a brother because it gives the devil an opportunity (Eph. 4:27). So, let down your guard and let God lead and guide you. Pray for His guidance.
Seek Restoration
When the time is right, seek out the one you are odds with and seek to restore the relationship. If you have followed the above three steps I think you will be rewarded with a gracious reception by the other child of God. Relax and trust in the Lord in this situation. It's true, His mercies endure forever! (Psalm 136)
I hope this helps.
Tony Guthrie
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