I have wondered, though, if not reaching what one imagined as success automatically makes them a failure. I think that if you ask most folks who exist in the 95% if they would consider themselves a failure, they would so "no." They may say, "Well, I may not have accomplished everything I set out to do, but I am fairly content with where life has taken me."
I think that if you ask them, "Have you ever FELT like a failure?" then the answer would be quite different. I believe even the 5% know that feeling. Perhaps it was that terrible feeling that motivated them to never feel it again. Perhaps it was that feeling that drove them to the success they now enjoy.
I think 100% of us know what feeling like a failure feels like. I certainly do. In fact I would argue that I can describe it better than anyone on the earth. I don't think I am a failure but I have felt like one in every stage of my life. I have accomplished a lot. I have earned 4 degrees from Bachelors, 2 Masters, and a Ph.D. (Bully for You Tony!). I have authored a couple of books, started a cleaning business, wrote music, preached over 2500 sermons, spoken before the Georgia House of Representatives, baked a few cakes, and so on. But I don't tend to focus on these "successes." I, like most people, tend to set my gaze and thoughts on the things I don't accomplish.
Ok, what is the point Tony? This is a blog post, not a novel, so let me share what true success is, at least in my opinion. (Blog posts are supposed to be short, right?)
Failure is: a lack of a purposed goal
Failure is not having a purposed goal. Period. The late Earl Nightingale famously said, "The problem with people is NOT in accomplishing goals. It's in setting them." He meant that we typically accomplish a goal we have set and believe is a part of our life's purpose. It is not so much the goal, but the REASON, the PURPOSE, or the WHY for the goal. The real question is: Why do you want to accomplish it?
It is no good to say, "I want to write children's books." You must add, "because I believe I can bring joy to the lives of children" (or something similar). The goal is NOT the book, but the joy the book brings.
Those working on doctoral dissertations have to learn that the dissertation is not about some broad subject like skin cancer. If they write a paper on skin cancer it would basically be about what it is and what causes it. That's been done to death. But a purposed dissertation makes a viable contribution to it's field of research. So, one writing on skin cancer should have the goal of writing on skin cancer in children ages 5 to 12 in order to determine possible causes and provide possible treatment options. It's much more specific.
This is what a purposed goal looks like: "I want to write books for children of preschool age in order to help preschool teachers make a better impact on the formative values of these children."
Failure is: a lack of determination
If you have a goal but obstacles and challenges cause you to throw in the proverbial towel, then that "goal" was something you never truly considered part of your purpose. Determination will drive you no matter what you face if you truly believe the goal is a part of who you were born to be. The 5% will tell you that their success is connected to their purpose and therefore they were determined to live it out.
Failure is: not understanding that success is in the journey
Success is your reality when you realize that you are moving toward a purposed goal. When you take action everyday toward the accomplishment of your goal, well, you are now a success. Ask anyone you consider successful and they will tell you that "getting" to the goal was more rewarding than "realizing" the goal. This is why soon after a goal is accomplished most successful folks soon set another one. The journey, their quest if you will, is what get's them up in the morning.
For me, this blog and others that I have, is a part of the process of moving toward a destination (a goal). Writing, posting, marketing, informing, studying, and planning are parts of this enjoyable process. Moving toward a goal makes me feel that I have a renewed purpose. It will be the same for you.
Most "failures" think that the accomplishment of a goal makes them successful. This is why so many quit when they are striving to reach a goal. Obstacles and challenges cause them to quit. They need to realize that success is in the journey itself, not in the destination. Waking up knowing you have something to work toward makes the day more meaningful.
Failure is: Making excuses and placing blame
I get so tired of hearing all the excuses and blame people place on their lack of success. There is such a "victim" mentality in the world. People blame their heritage, parents, ethnicity, race, socio-economic status, the weather, circumstances, other people, and on and on and on. The reality is, though, that people of every race, ethnicity, heritage, geographic location and socio-economic status have become some of the most revered and successful people in the world. They were just determined to define their own lives.
Rather than make excuses because your circumstances aren't perfect, USE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES as your vehicle toward success. I know a man who came to work for my dad's construction company in 1982. At the time I was working there too. He was 18 and desperate. He was an orphan, poor, uneducated, and had a significant speech impediment. One day he and I were out working in the hot summer sun on a paint job. He was working hard and perspiring. He looked at me and said, "One thing is for sure, THIS is NOT how I am going to live the rest of my life!"
He told me he was going to finish his education and make a difference. With no money, family, or help he set out to change his life. I lost touch with him until recently. Today in his late 40s he has earned a college degree and works with troubled teens in juvenile delinquency. He invests his life into each kid and has helped to get many of them on the right track.
Does he earn huge money? I doubt it. But he had a goal that he accomplished. He made his goal his passion. He didn't make excuses for what he didn't have. He simply took his goal, put action behind it, and pressed on in spite of the challenges.
Stop making excuses.
I trust this has been helpful to you,
Blessing,
Tony Guthrie
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